You know how sometimes you feel grey?
It's this weird feeling of being empty. Like someone has sucked out your essence and all you have left is this unused potential. I have felt like this many times when I have had to conform to whatever society deemed to be appropriate for my life.
I let society and the world and my family tell me what I had to do for most of my life - go to school, don't be weird, do what they tell you, behave, and the classic - be good.
When I grew up it was more like - find a partner, start a family, have a career.
But you know, the more I lived and looked around me, the more I wanted to rebel against the "greyness" I was feeling when the world wanted me to conform. I think one day I just let go of all pretenses and became who I was meant to be all along.
If you're feeling grey today, watch this video. It will make you feel better. :)
I cried at the end because few parents will do this for their child.
Most of us become ourselves in our 20s, when we literally go out and look for ourselves, as if we had lost who we were and were now desperate to find us again. But you never lose yourself, you just bury yourself under all the shoulds.
I have less than a month before my 30th birthday and I finally understand why people are happiest in their 30s. Because the way our society is built, we basically take this ginormous test in our 20s that will determine whether we will a) become who they want us to be or b) go back to who we originally were, and in our 30s we get to live with our choices.
Is it crazy to think that maybe whoever chooses a) ends up having a midlife crisis later?
I don't know. Maybe. But I do know what I chose. :)
Let me know in the comments: What did/will you choose?
Rebel on, and rebel out.
P.S. I did not expect to write or publish today. And it felt amazing!
I had forgotten how sweet it feels to be spontaneous on your blog and that's such a shame. Everything is scheduled and strategized these days. Maybe we could try to be more spontaneous and authentic on our blogs in 2017. DEAL?