Most of the time I LOVE personality tests.
I am big on self-awareness and knowing more about myself makes me feel empowered to grow and make better choices. We don't often change, but knowing what we could do better is a powerful tool for anyone driven to achieve and just live the good life or whatever your ultimate goal in life is.
And most of the time I LOVE what I read and nod a lot.
Yep, that's me... yep, yep, totally me... OMG how do they know... and so on.
But I finally came about a personality test that literally made me cringe. Which doesn't mean I didn't like it or that I think it's wrong. But it literally took the worst aspects of my personality, the things I'd like to change but cannot, and put them together in a report that's basically my life in a nutshell.
Without further ado, 'tis the Enneagram test everyone talks about.
So it puts people in 1 of 9 categories - The Reformer, The Helper, The Achiever, The Individualist, The Investigator, The Loyalist, The Enthusiast, The Challenger, and The Peacemaker. The problem is that you get slightly different results from different sites, so make sure to take this Enneagram test, and check whether you mistyped yourself (although there's a mention of wings which I still don't understand and in the end, it's more about what you resonate with).
The top contenders for my type were:
- Type 4 - The Individualist (identity seeker who feels unique & different)
- Type 7 - The Enthusiast (pleasure seeker/planner in search of distraction)
- Type 3 - The Achiever (focused on success and getting validation)
From all the tests I took on all the sites, Type 7 fits the best, Type 4 is my inner rebel, and Type 3 is just my Capricorn speaking. However, I can't say I'm only one or even two of those because I'm all of them at all times.
So the description of Type 7 - my type, The Enthusiast - made me cringe.
Why? It's a perfectly lovely type. Why would I cringe?
Well, because it felt like showing my dirty panties to the entire world (which I did do on an old blog of mine) - the fact that I'm always looking to the next FUN thing, how I CAN'T COMMIT because I know something BETTER is coming, and how everything has to be an adventure... or at least DISTRACTING enough to make me forget whatever I'm trying to run away from or deny.
And all of this does not fit with creative business. Creative business has as many aspects as the human being, and they're not all fun for sure.
I capitalized some words I did not like being described as, even though I know they're dead-on point. (Am I crazy for cringeing at all of this?) And of course, when I'm in conflict with myself, the two voices started tennis balling:
FUN? -- Um, hello! Not everything in life is fun. Deal with it.
CAN'T COMMIT? -- Yeah... that might be me, but I've worked really hard on committing to myself and my business this year, and committing to better habits (aha, another factor!) because my business needs me to finish things and be consistent, so don't throw this in my face, okay? OK...
BETTER? -- You know, most of the time what you have is just good enough and by looking forward to something else you're wasting what you have.
DISTRACTING? - My way of battling negative emotions is to ignore them and take up distractions (and sometimes addictions) to make them go away, just like my type says. It's kind of heart-breaking to see what I've been feeling lately on the screen like that, but on the other hand, this is my way of dealing.
(And I always say, your way is better than any other way 'cos it's yours.)
I can keep quoting the report endlessly and find more and more things that I don't appreciate finding in a report about me, but I've decided that even though I'm ranting right now and it may not look like it...
I BLOODY LOVE ME.
The above things are fears that I see about myself and don't necessarily like about myself, but they're not all the things. Many of these issues I have been addressing and even growing out of or beyond, so if I - the eternal mess that I am - can grow beyond my "limitations," so can anyone!
You have an opportunity to know yourself better and grow. Never pass it by or take it as an opportunity to put yourself down or affirm something you don't like about yourself - which, ironically, was my first reaction. *shamed face*
"People are more than their personalities," says Tessa Violet, and rightly so.
Each personality test - if it's any good - captures you in a box of sorts. It can't tell you about everything, but it can group people together in boxes, so we feel like we belong somewhere with other human beings.
Even though I resonated the most with type 7, and the site told me I was type 7, that doesn't mean I'm ONLY type 7. I was also 76% type 4 and 67% type 3, and on some other sites I was some other types because... who the hell knows?
Like everything, it's a spectrum, but instead of pondering on the percentages, we just choose 1 or 2 types to make sense of our lives and who we are.
P.S. If you want to watch vloggers talk about their types, we've got Emma Blackery with 8, Emma Popcorn with 4, Lucy Moon with 9, and again, Tessa Violet with Type 2 (who doesn't like personality tests, but tolerated that one).
Personality tests are fun, but don't let them aggravate you or convince you that somehow this is who you are and you'll always be this person.
Remember than every label, type, etc. is a box. And being a creative rebel means that you're a complicated human being - like most human beings are - and that you don't want to stay in your box, but GROW BEYOND IT.
Still, I can recognize a good test when I see one, so go ahead and take the Enneagram test. I sincerely hope you like what you read.