A few conventions I will never understand.

The Conventions I will never understand. | Violeta Nedkova's Blog

Can we get real and awkward for a second?

OK, so... when you're a rebel, you're bound to bump into things you really don't like. And it's bound to be most things other people like. Society is so constructed that most people agree on something, but then the outliers hate it. Then comes the awkward moment where you have to tell your "normal friends" they're all crazy. </kiddingsortof>

But if you have ever been looked down on with that look of incredulity when you were just voicing your opinion, I get you. We've gotten that look a lot, haven't we? Whatever, the people who look down on other people won't get you here.

So let's just share our pet peeves without fear. Deal?

1. Weddings.

You know that movie where Katherine Heigl tried on 27 wedding dresses?

Or the one where Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn crash hundreds of weddings?

I will never be those people because I hate weddings. *gasp* Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I swallowed some inedible stuff when I went to a wedding when I was a toddler. Maybe it's because my dad hates them and I'm a lot like my dad. Or maybe I think weddings are gigantic look-at-me productions that don't have much to do with love.

Give me elopement! Let me sign documents even! Just not weddings.

Where all the people you've ever known look at you expectantly. Like you're supposed to poop a rainbow or something. Where you have to torture the women with shopping for dresses and the men with dancing. Where you have to pick how everything's going to look and taste even though you'd rather just say LET THEM EAT CAKE. Ahem.

Anywho, maybe I was born this way. A wedding scrooge.

2. Going to church.

I don't want to go into religious debates with anyone but...

If God is all around, why would you need a specific place to talk to him/her?

I just don't believe you need to go to church to be able to pray and commune with your God. I am not a super religious person, but I do believe in something bigger than me and sometimes I pray because I was taught to do it every night as a little child. Problem is, when you take a little child to church and make her sit still in the fumes of a thousand candles for an hour. Don't be surprised if she faints and never wants to set foot in a church.

Just saying. Traditions and rituals are a beautiful thing if you need them. But if you don't, then know that nobody's forcing you to, least of all God.

That's all I'll say on the matter. We all have a right to a unique belief system. 

3. Having a child.

Hannah says it best in Bones, season 6:

There are children already in this world who need good homes. If I decided to have a child, Iā€™d adopt one of those kids.

Children are a beautiful human experience and I reckon (almost) everyone should partake. However, when there are so many orphans in the world, I'd rather give one (or more of them) a home and love rather than be selfish and only have my own.

Settle down. I'm not calling you selfish. I'd just be calling myself selfish if I did it. It mostly has to do with the way I see myself - a selfish person who wants to do selfless things. For some reason, I could never shake this side of myself, and I don't want to. I was raised - by my gran - to be a good person and to care for others and the world around me. And maybe I don't like the idea of some of my genes staring back at me. (When you have Bipolar Disorder Type II, your kids may end up having Type I, which is much worse.)

What the future brings, I will never know, but seeing as my life is in my hands, I'd rather look after unloved beings - children or animals - than live selfishly.

Try not to forget the world while you're busy chasing your own happiness.

Life is not just about winning. It's about giving back as well.

4. Getting a job.

Say you're with me? I know you're with me.

If you're a member of my generation, you know what I mean about "jobs." It's an antiquated term that suggests a much more negative connotation than "work." To do a job is to do something solely for the money. To do work can be something you actually love.

There are people who have no problem separating their life and passions from the ritual of doing things for other people in exchange for money. Some people thrive on keeping a day job and chasing their dream on their own time, and I envy them! Side-hustling is a respectable way of life if you can emotionally disconnect from your day job. 

If you can, two thumbs up. If you can't, you just fall into depression.

And you have no choice but to hate the convention that hated you first.

I think my first job had something to do with separating sheep wool, but I was too young to remember the details, so let's just skip to University (my teens were all about studying) where I started lining up these jobs, one after another, hating them, and then either quitting or getting fired or something in between. 

  • I quit part-time work at a factory because it was not worth the money.
  • I got fired from a kitchen because I had issues with authority in general and the new chef in particular, who was a hustler whose dream job was being a chef. She just couldn't understand why I wouldn't learn. (To be honest, I hate cooking.)
  • I eventually stopped delivering flyers because it killed my shins.
  • I never started live-in care for the elderly because I'm highly sensitive.
  • Oh and let's not forget the big door-to-door sales debacle of Summer 2010 where I had to quit because I sucked at selling and ran out of money in a foreign country. Then I found a job at the local Subway because the boss felt sorry for me.
  • I had to quit working as au-pair because it turns out I'm not crazy about children. Which I knew, but wanted to travel. (Looking back, I was self-sabotaging.)
  • After University and au-pairing I just reverted back to my digital projects and ended up writing for blogs, doing marketing for startups, consulting, and starting my online business. All of which turned out to be much more stimulating.

Today I thrive on running my own business and I don't have to separate my attention between two things. If you're on the verge of doing the same, you should download my free guide and read about the pitfalls and safeguards.

5. Formal wear. 

I don't know if my dislike for formal wear is connected to my dislike of jobs.

All I know is that formal wear is only good when you want to feel fancy. For example, I would never dream of going to a ball with my sneakers. (Although I did put them on for a wedding as a form of protest once.) My problem with formal wear is when it's required for an event during which you don't feel fancy or even good. Like weddings or jobs.

Honestly, someone should make a song about how much I hate weddings and jobs. 

Maybe it's just my muddled brain, but shouldn't formal wear be reserved for special occasions? Meaning if you don't consider something a special occasion, you shouldn't wear formal wear to it. But then, everyone will know you're there hating it... Then don't go to things you hate, woman! Reserve your fancy dress for a ball or something. It's your right to feel good in your life, so stop adhering to everyone else's expectations.

Perhaps the only exception is when it's important to someone you love. I have gone and acted decently at weddings because it meant a lot to my mom.

It's tough being a rebel, isn't it?

You have all of these views of the world that are different from your friends' and when you explain your PoV, people look at you like you belong in a loony bin. I wish the general population was more accepting of rebels, but fortunately, we can do without it.

We don't thrive on recognition and approval. We thrive on each other.

If you're a rebel like me, give a yelp in the comments and share your pet peeves.

We don't have to accept convention. It doesn't accept us.


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Violeta Nedkova

Violeta Nedkova is a multipassionate marketer who loves helping people. She talks and writes about marketing with purpose and personality because it's so much better than traditional marketing.