The higher you climb one day, the longer you fall the next.
Maybe that's not always true for everyone or even about life.
But it's definitely how it feels today.
Ennui: a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction.
That's how Merriam-Webster defines ennui (which is obviously French), but I have to say that how I feel has nothing to do with dissatisfaction. It's more like... this feeling of having had a full glass of water, and now it's empty, and you have to fill it up again. How annoying is that!
So I'm lazily leaving my glass empty.
Instead of filling it.
Because you can't always be filling a glass of water as if it's going to keep you alive. On some days, you just wanna have that glass of water ready, and start drinking it. is it so much to ask for? To have someone give you the water?
Obviously, I don't mean water, but some kind of... validation.
Validation that what you do matters. That even when it's not obvious, it's still matters. That people and the world would be worse off without you or what you do. Validation that in the end, it's gonna be all worth it.
I want a guarantee.
But I can't get it so here I stand, with an empty glass of water in my hand.
Waiting for someone to fill it.