#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 14, I feel defensive.

I haven't played chess in years.

And yet, I was compelled to sit down and play against my uncle, who coincidentally, used to be a master at it. (Or whatever the chess geeks call it.) Truthfully, I have always found chess fascinating and a little unnerving.

Yet, I couldn't understand why everyone was learning combinations.

My dad was - and continues to be - pretty good at it, too. Men usually say the same thing - I can tell your next 3 moves or something cryptic like this - but I always surprise those men. And you know why? Because I play in the moment. Which is what I do in life, as in general. To me, life and games are supposed to be played in the moment. Not to mention, it's no fun to know what's going to happen in advance, so... thanks, but no thanks.

Those genius-level combinations can kiss my girly a**.

 But that's not the point.

The game was pretty good. My uncle shook my hand - after beating me with one of his combinations - and admitted he didn't expect that I would be winning at some point of the game. He wasn't condescending or anything, just genuinely amused and admiring. And if you think about it, a girl who has played a few times in her life should not be able to be so good at chess, especially against someone who did it professionally.

I'll tell you why I'm good at chess. Nobody knows this. You ready?

I'm really good at defense. I can immediately tell what someone is doing and how they are planning to take one of my pieces. I may not be able to plan a sequence of 5 winning moves, but I sure as hell can tell if someone wants to sneak in and take my Queen - like I said my uncle, my Queen is an unacceptable sacrifice, which is probably why I lost. Think about it, we spend most of our lives defending ourselves and putting up walls so we wouldn't be hurt. And we protect the things we love most, losing sight of the big picture. Just like me in the game, we cannot win until we figure out a good plan of attack.

I've been passively defending myself and my business against anything that could take it away, but I have not been setting it up for "success."

Success as in me actually winning that game of chess.

That stops today. Take the Queen.


Violeta Nedkova

Violeta Nedkova is a multipassionate marketer who loves helping people. She talks and writes about marketing with purpose and personality because it's so much better than traditional marketing.