#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 18, I felt mystified.

#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 18, I felt mystified.

You know how you feel when you're totally mystified by a TV series?

It's like you can't tell what's going to happen AT ANY GIVEN TIME. I almost never get this feeling because I have read, watched, and imagined it all, which basically follows the same tropes, which basically means you can't surprise me... often. However, there are mindf*cks out there that can, and The OA is one of them.

First of all, the creator and star of the show Brit Marling is one of the most mystifying actors out there. She has played in some film that I have admired for their simplicity and complexity. Like Another Earth. And she definitely likes cliffhanger endings. Like Another Earth. (They're supposed to be annoying, but I like that the creators give me something to play with.)

#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 16, I feel humbled and multipassionate.

As much as I love being a multipassionate and love multipassionate people, I recognize we have kind of a big flaw.

It's not what you think...

It's not that we are "flaky" or easily distracted or unable to finish things.

It's not that we want to do all the things and when we do them, we never go all the way, but just scratch the surface. (Leave that to the specialists.)

It's that we don't honor our ideas more than we honor our desires.

Have you ever thought about how much of your life is controlled by your EGO?

#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 15, I feel haunted.

Dreams are always telling.

Dreams tell you what you're afraid of, what you're subconsciously attracted to, and what you can't let go of.

 Have you ever had recurring dreams? Or recurring elements in dreams? Lately it's been all the same - the same person, the same ridiculous scenario - and I can't make out WHY this is happening, but I feel haunted.

Haunted by things I don't understand. 

#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 14, I feel defensive.

I haven't played chess in years.

And yet, I was compelled to sit down and play against my uncle, who coincidentally, used to be a master at it. (Or whatever the chess geeks call it.) Truthfully, I have always found chess fascinating and a little unnerving.

Yet, I couldn't understand why everyone was learning combinations.

My dad was - and continues to be - pretty good at it, too. Men usually say the same thing - I can tell your next 3 moves or something cryptic like this - but I always surprise those men. And you know why? Because I play in the moment. Which is what I do in life, as in general. To me, life and games are supposed to be played in the moment. Not to mention, it's no fun to know what's going to happen in advance, so... thanks, but no thanks.

Those genius-level combinations can kiss my girly a**.

#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 13, I felt like quitting, but decided to finish.

Yesterday was my first missed day. 

I didn't even realize I'd done it until I was falling asleep in my bed.

But I'll keep on sharing my feelings daily because this year is all about finishing the things I'd started. Especially after the comment I got on Youtube:

"Did you quit???"

That was under one of my attempted 30 Days of Sucking at Vlogging.

Sadly, I stopped both very early in the experiment because every time I started, it just felt like such a HUGE task - you gotta look acceptable, then adjust the lighting and webcam settings, script and shoot the whole thing, and then EDIT...

#100DaysofFeelings: On Day 12, I feel called upon.

Oh Photoshop...

I have spent the entire day staring at my screen and only slightly adjusting designs on Photoshop. There's just something about the program that draws me in and doesn't let go. It also wakes the perfectionist in me big time.

I was supposed to be done with all the mini-guides for the Secret Library, but I am only done with the first one. But here's the thing...

How do you decide what's more important: value or packaging?